Tuesday, November 27, 2007

From Kicking It... To Forever Single.

So this week NBC News with Brian Williams is doing a series of stories on black women in the U.S., and looking at areas of education achievement, health, economics, and relationships.

Watched last night's installment on black women's achievements in higher education and can concur, since I work at a university, that black women are leading the community majorly.

Stats also tell the story that black women are the least likely of many demographics to be married, which the series will explore this week. Talked about it in a past entry on the film Soul Mate, and what I thought could be a powerful alliance between straight black women and out gay black men when it comes to finding the romantic love they seek.

I'm wondering what the stats are for the LGBT community. With such slippery, and sometimes non-defined, definitions of "dating," "hanging out," "kicking it," "just doing our thang," "we don't like to label ourselves," etc...

... I wonder if there's a segment of the population that's NEVER truly had a partner in the traditional sense of romantic partnership -- 1 on 1, no one else, no exploring options, a label and a commitment to honoring the label... at least in the beginning. A segment that's only "kicked it" and eventually found themselves in their 50s or 60s without no one to kick it with, or settle down with.

Of course there is. I'm just wondering what that must be like to have never dated, never been asked out, never had a prospect, never had someone call you their own. Of course there are days when I go into "woe-is-me" mode when I'm single or dateless, when in reality I'm just being picky at the moment.

But are we in an age where people are completely comfortable with dating, hanging out, kicking it, just doing our thang, and not being labeled... that the traditional sense of romantic relationships is a thing of the past? When is the right time to shed the "kicking it" mentality and look at the long-term investment value of those we want to date?

It's all over the place, this entry. I know. My mind is like that today...

1 comment:

yet another black guy said...

woah, very thought provoking. everyone seems to say everything but GF, BF, husband or wife.

do you think it's because our instant gratification society makes it harder for folks to want to settle down when they know they can just me another person within minutes via the internet?